My sweet boy was born just 3.5 months ago via c-section at 6:04 pm 4.2.12 weighing in at the perfect 7lbs 11oz and 20 short inches long ;) at 41 weeks gestation.
I went into the hospital on 4/1 to begin the induction process. My biggest fear had happened. Jude was "late". We had gone in Friday for an ultrasound and non-stress test to monitor baby and make sure the womb was still a good environment for the little guy. My doctor wasn't too concerned about his living arrangements but even her little bit of worry about my placenta made me opt for an induction just to be on the safe side.
So, Drew and I arrived at the hospital at 8pm sunday evening bags packed anxiously awaiting the beginning of the process to bring our baby boy home. Much to my surprise, when I arrived and they hooked me up to the monitor I was already contracting fairly well on my own and didn't even know it! ha! I was about 3 cm!! :D
One of my requests was that the doctor did not use cytotec (sp?) during the induction process. In stead we used an alternative called cervadil (sp?) that is said to be on the safer side when it comes to softening the cervix. It worked like a charm and I was in pretty active labor all night long. The pain at that point was mainly in my thighs. It felt like my body just couldn't relax, particularly my legs. The nurse said this is common.
I could not sleep. I mean, who can sleep when they know they are about to meet their baby?!
Well, the nurse came in at 5am and got me to get up and shower and get ready to start the pitocin drip. By 7:30 I was having very intense contractions!
To make a long story short, a little while later, I was 5cm and my doctor was determined to break my water. I fought her as much as I could on this because my body was progressing wonderfully without this un-needed intervention, but she insisted.
She tried 3, YES, THREE, times to break my water. Let me remind you that this was before any pain meds or epidural. That pain was excruciating! At this point my contractions were really really close together and she was doing this during contractions. I went into what I consider to be a mild panic attack during this process.
They had to hook me up to oxygen and monitor Jude's heart beat because the trauma had his heart beat dropping. After he was born we discovered he had a huge gash on his head from the doctor attempting to break my water. This broke my heart. :(
After the 3rd attempt at breaking my water, it was a success, until Jude decided to plug the hole with his head defeating the whole purpose. ;) I love my child. :) He didn't want his cushion from the contractions taken away!
Anyways... like I was saying.. panic attack going on here from being jabbed during contractions. So, I began begging for the epidural. And after much persuasion and convincing my hubby that I was dead serious and I wouldn't hold it against him, he let me get the epidural. (Let me clarify that my original goal was a natural, un-induced, un-medicated, un-intervened birth. Drew was instructed to not let me convince him of an epidural.. if he could help it ;) Im pretty convincing. And I think he realized the seriousness the trauma from the water breaking attempts had caused.) So, seconds after I begged for an epidural the anesthesiologist was in the room administering it. Relief.
Little did I know, I had progressed tremendously prior to the epidural :( I wish I had known I was this close to pushing and I think I would've tried to hold out longer. Should've asked the nurse to check me once more, but after that water breaking event I didn't want anything causing me anymore pain in that area! lol!
So, it came time to push, I was 10cm but Jude hadn't dropped any. The doc thought it was worth it to try to push him down some by pushing. The thing that sucks about having an epidural, and one of the MAIN reasons I didn't want one, you cannot get up, move around and move that baby down. You are stuck. Confined to a little hospital bed where other people have to pick your legs up and move them around.
I pushed. I pushed for an hour and NOTHING happened. He didn't move one bit.
My doctor came in at 5pm and said it was time for a c-section. I lost it. I cried like I had never cried before. My husband went in the hall and begged the doctor for one more hour to push. Jude was not in distress, what would it hurt? So, she came back in and told me "you can try whatever you like but it's not going to work." Yes, the doctor said that to me. Believe it.
So, I took all my energy and all my tears and I channelled them to pushing as hard as I could with all my might. It didn't work. He didn't budge. I was told his head was through the pelvis but he was turned so that his shoulders were stuck. So a c-section it was.
Looking back I wonder, why couldn't they have turned him??? But I didn't think that at the time.
I was rushed to the OR like it was some kind of emergency but it really wasn't. My baby was fine. No distress at all. Don't really know what that was about other than it was 6pm. :/
Im on the operating table, crying my eyes out. Drew is trying to calm my emotions, telling me its all okay. Jude will be here any second now and it will all be worth it. I knew the truth in his words but I hurt. My heart hurt.
They begin the c-section and my epidural had worn off. I felt the first few minutes. I felt them cut me. Not completely felt it but it HURT. I felt them remove some of my insides. I screamed for them to stop.
The anesthesiologist began injecting my IV with all kinds of meds. At one point he had 3 vials of stuff in his hand. He yelled at my OB to stop the procedure. Only then did she stop.
I received enough medication and they proceeded. Seconds later I heard Drew say, "listen, do you hear that?!"
It was Jude.
It was the sweet sweet sound of my baby boys first cry. For the first time my heart beat completely. I began to yell "where is he, I want to see him, where is he???"
The nurse brought him around and showed him to me. I do not remember this but Drew says I couldn't see the nurse standing directly in front of me holding my baby (I guess it was all that medication they had just rapidly injected me with! haha!) But I was saying softly "I can't see him! Bring him closer to me!" lol! She placed him in my arms and I just closed my eyes and I smelled him.
He was Here. He was Perfect. He was Mine.
I just want to encourage all women who are expecting. No matter what your birth story ends up being, the end result is the same. Your birth story is given to YOU for a reason. Each is different and is used to shape you into the mother God wants you to be.
Come back later to hear about Jude's stay in the NICU
Photos courtesy of Allison Lewis Photography
